5 Things We’re Ready to Stop Seeing on Twitter

Tapping into the collective consciousness of Twitter, it appears that there are several things that regular Twitter users are ready to not be subject to seeing anymore. My opinion is that a lot of these are things that we’d like to not see or hear anywhere, but they appear consistently and repeatedly in written form on Twitter on an ongoing basis. So it makes it easy to point out.

Some of this reminds me of the early days of the Internet when newsgroups were the way that we’d all communicate and collaborate online. There was an etiquette that was generally followed, and it quickly became apparent who the newbies were. Some of that prevails today, in that many Tweeters consistently repeat behavior that is more or less seen as annoying, amateur, or just unnecessary.

So here’s the list I’ve started compiling from other Tweets that I’ve seen where someone calls out the undesirable Tweet behavior. I concur with many of these, and I recommend you take a look to see which #TweetCrime you may have participated in as well.

5 Things We’re Ready to Stop Seeing on Twitter

  • The status of your inbox
    Frankly, nobody cares. Plus – it’s not only a little braggy, but it’s assuming that your method for managing and organizing your inbox is superior to everyone else’s, and the goal all should strive for. Frankly, we just don’t care. 

    “Went to bed with inbox zero, woke up with 30 more emails. It’s never ending.”
    “OMG. Zero inbox for the first time in months!”
    “854 new unread emails in my Inbox. Clearly, vacation is over.”

  • Good Morning / Good Day / Top O’ the Mornin’ to Ya
    Sure, it’s polite and nice, but is it really necessary? If I follow you, and you Tweet a “good morning” every single day, it’s just one more tweet filling up space where I’m trying to pay attention to the actual information going on in the world. 

    “Top of the morning to ya…Treadmill time!!”
    “Top of the morning twit fam!”
    “Good morning. Give God the glory.”

  • Vague or ambigious Tweets that are just phishing for a reply or follow-up
    If you’re begging for attention, please don’t do it on Twitter. Give up the goods or wait until you have things worked out more before sharing it with the world. 

    “Four times in one year. A personal best.”
    “I can’t believe this is happening to me.”
    “I love waking up to good news!”

  • Endless inspirational or motivational quotes.
    I like a good quote or words of wisdom as much as the next guy. But if a significant number of your Tweets are dedicated to someone else’s words, maybe you need to reconsider why you’ve got a Twitter account in the first place. If I wanted a carbon copy of the unabridged dictionary of famous quotations, I’d just follow that on Twitter. I want to know what you are thinking.
  • Pointless Nothingness
    It’s pretty simple. If there’s no value or meaning to something, and the general public doesn’t care about it and doesn’t need to know about it, go ahead and leave it off Twitter. 

    “Just got home”
    “Nice day outside today”
    “Gym.”

 

This list is likely only a beginning. It’s also focused more on the things I’ve seen people mention that are pretty universal. One candidate on many lists is those who Tweet about food or what they are eating. While that can be mundane, there are times when it’s relevant or even interesting in the way that someone does it. Not universal.

What are some of your least favorite kinds of Tweets?

A Rant on Customer Service

It’s been a very frustrating day.

Well, make that few days. And it’s been frustrating for stupid reasons. A lot of little, simple, stupid reasons.

And the one thing that could have made it all a lot less frustrating is if I’d received some good customer service.

I seriously don’t think it’s too much to ask. There’s a baseline level of service that a consumer should be able to receive in a given transaction. I know I may sometimes have higher expectations from people and society in general than I should, but come on – isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? Always try to do a little better than before so that you advance humanity rather than degrade it.

Well, today’s events are what set me off. I’ll elaborate on my experience with having new garage door openers installed in another post. But for now, this is the official First Post of my entries on Customer Service. A little background first.

In the summer of 1989, when I was 15, I saw a looming date in the fall. That date was my birthday, when I would turn 16. I knew two things. One: I wanted a car. Two: there was no way in hell I was going to drive around one of my parents’ huge bubble-butt station wagons. Yeah – we had TWO giant station wagons. And I really didn’t like the way they looked.

Giant Embarrassing Station Wagon

One of them looked lot like this 1975 Olds Cutlass Supreme Station Wagon. The other was newer, and was enhanced by a nice faux woodgrain on the side. Now, no offense Mom & Dad, as I know you guys didn’t have much money and you did have three boys and a big dog, but those wagons were ugly. I don’t blame you. I’m just stating facts.

Anyway, the only way out of the situation was to get a job. A job gets you money and money gets you a car.

So I applied at Baker’s on 90th and Fort. Our family shopped there frequently, and they actually did hire 15-year-olds. Now, this wasn’t just some minimum-wage job in 1989. I had to go through two interviews at Baker’s corporate office just to get hired. Then, employment was contingent upon passing all the training. And it wasn’t just watching a video and pretending that you knew that eggs go on top of a sack. There were tests, honesty assessments, sacker training, culture training… a lot of stuff. But what you knew for sure when you got done with it was that these people were serious about their business, they demanded that people who worked for them were serious about it as well, and that you were going to be a part of it all. And that was important.

Baker's Supermarket LogoIn those days, Baker’s had a tagline of, “Quality, Variety, Service.” Customer service was one of the TOP things that was a true differentiator in the grocery business at that time. I was hired as a sacker. My entire job was to greet customers, sack their groceries with Tetris-like precision, and to carry their groceries out to their car and thank them for their business. The carry-out was not some half-assed whisper of, “Would you like help out with this?” It was The Law. You were not to ASK if someone wanted a carry out. They got it. One sack? Carry out. That’s it.

At the time, I definitely didn’t realize what I was learning. But these lessons continued in virtually everything we did at Baker’s. Appearance mattered. Performance mattered. Perception mattered. But it wasn’t about money. It wasn’t about the bottom line. It wasn’t about efficiency or cost. It was always about the customer. If the customer was happy, that was all that mattered.

So many details about the way we did everything was absolutely rooted in customer satisfaction. We cleaned that store every single night. We kept the shelves stocked, but made sure we didn’t get in the way when we did it. We walked people to items they were looking for so we could help make sure that they found exactly what they were looking for. It was a lot more than simply, “the customer was always right.” The common saying was that, “the customer signs our paycheck.” That puts it into perspective.

I worked for Baker’s for nearly ten years. All through high school. All through college. It wasn’t until I got my first job out of college at a web company that I quit working there. During that run, I learned more than I think most people are able to learn in three times that many years. I sacked, checked, built displays, cleaned, carried out, stocked, fixed, prebooked orders, managed employees, managed schedules, created signage and artwork, trained employees, opened the store, closed the store, hired, fired, wrote store newsletters, ran the store, ran the back room, managed vendors, and nearly everything in between. I left Baker’s with a great respect and appreciation for what it takes to work with people and treat customers right. I am truly thankful for that.

Which is why todays’ events have had such an impact on me.

Customer service is something I notice all the time. Good or bad. It’s easy to call out people for bad customer service. But it’s not as often that people who do things well get any credit for it.  I want to do a tiny little part in the effort to highlight both. So I’m going to create a new blog category for customer service and post my musings on various experiences.

There’s a direct relationship to customer service and other things I’m passionate about. I’m sure it’s intertwined, too. But my day-to-day job now is highly focused on customer service in a different medium: websites. When it gets down to it, though, what we in the biz call “user experience design” is actually just customer service when you get down to it. When someone enters your store (site) what kind of experience do you want them to have? A good one. Even better – a great one.

So watch for some posts about customer service from time to time. Well, I can actually see it being frequently. Because it’s something I pay attention to. And it’s one of those things that I truly feel makes a BIG difference.

Treat people well, make sure you do the best job you can, and be honest. Those are the basics for doing business. Do it well, and I believe you’ll achieve success. Do it poorly, and… well… good luck. You’ll need it.

It’s Been a While

Wow. Nearly six months since I’ve posted. Not that I don’t care or anything. It’s been a busy six months. And I have three drafts in the pipeline here that I never got around to publishing. I know that doesn’t make for interesting reading, but not like I’ve got a lot of readers to worry about anyway. Self-fulfilling prophecy?

Anyway, while I assess the state of the older posts, I did just write one for Bozell’s Insights. Check it out.

http://www.bozell.com/insights/3855/santa-claus-is-an-expert-in-experience-design/

Stephen Colbert Holds Congress

This is not insignificant.

A very popular comedian just got 5 minutes in front of the US Congress to do his shtick. He even pauses for laughter, even if nobody took the chance to fill it in by laughing out loud.

And it was pretty funny.

The line between politics and comedy is officially gone. And he didn’t even hide his intent or make an attempt to do anything other than what he does on his television show every day.

Colbert plays a pundit. The character is a satire of an extreme conservative, but actually skewers conservatives in general. It’s pretty funny stuff no matter what side of politics you adhere to. Colbert also takes occasional shots at all everybody, but the primary character is supposed to come off as conservative.

In 2006, Colbert spoke at the White House Correspondents Dinner, where he went on as Colbert the character and played exactly who he is on his television show. At that time, I thought it was amazing that he was invited or allowed to appear, knowing full well what he did on a daily basis via the show. And that Bush was President.

Now, the Correspondents Dinner is typically something where they roll out some good natured humor. Every year, there are some pretty funny bits, and quite often popular comedians appear. But it’s as if whoever was in charge of that year’s booking had never seen Colbert’s show.

Here’s his appearance:

After that show, the fact that anyone would allow Colbert to “testify” in front of Congress simply amazes me. Not that he doesn’t have valid points to make. Not that he shouldn’t be afforded the right to do something that any American should be able to do. I’m all for it. It’s more that in doing so, he was able to essentially use the US Congress and all of the associated media coverage and press to further his persona as Stephen Colbert the character.

The whole ordeal was basically a plug for his show. AND IT WORKED!

I loved the whole thing. I was in awe that he’s been able to perpetuate this thing for so long that now he can basically appear as his character in public and people think it’s simply him.

Now, maybe they knew better, and maybe they had to allow it. But I bet if Larry The Cable Guy wanted to appear in character in front of Congress they might not let that happen.

So now, Colbert has appeared in front of the U.S. Congress to make a statement about immigration and migrant labor. From the very beginning of his five minutes, he’s cracking jokes and poking fun at Congress itself.

“As you’ve heard this morning, America’s farms are far too dependent on immigrant labor to pick our fruits and vegetables. Now the obvious answer is for all of us to stop eating fruits and vegetables.”

And also:

“Maybe this Ag Jobs Bill would help. I don’t know. Like most members of Congress, I haven’t read it.”

By the end, he’s made a few very valid points. And I’m sure gained a few more viewers for his nightly TV show, too.

Well done, real Stephen.

An Open Letter to the Person at Toyota in Charge of the Prius’ CD Player Shuffle Function

Pull

I really hate it when things don’t work like you’d expect. There are some universal “truths” when it comes to some interfaces. A door with a flat, horizontal bar is for pushing. A door with a vertical handle is for pulling. A computer mouse should not be round because you can’t tell which way is “up.” (Sorry, Apple.) And a CD player should shuffle between all tracks on a disc when the shuffle function is engaged.

Well, I’m having some issues with that last one. So if anyone from Toyota is out there listening, I have some tips for you.

Here’s my experience. I have a 2009 Prius. It’s a good car. Gets great gas mileage. The hatchback is convenient. The sound system is OK and the seats aren’t all that comfy. But that’s fine. I knew I was getting it because I wanted the gas mileage and Toyota makes one hell of a good car. (I’m not worried about the accelerator issues.)

But the shuffle function on the CD player is simply terrible. I can dismiss all the other things that I might pick on because to me, it would seem choices and trade-offs were made. But for something that’s been around as long as a CD player and a shuffle function, you’d think a Japanese car company would get it right. Plus, the car HAS a CD player with a shuffle function. So, it should work well. There’s no option to upgrade to a “good” one, so the one that’s in there should work as well as they can make it.

Here’s where the problems are for me:

  1. I have an MP3 CD in right now with approximately 125 tracks on it.
  2. I drive in short bursts throughout the week. Usually 15-20 minutes at a time.
  3. I want to hear a random selection of all the tracks on this CD.
  4. The CD player keeps picking the same 8-10 tracks ALL THE TIME.

It doesn’t just repeat one track every once in a while. It simply plays the same songs as if the shuffle only works on 10 randomly selected tracks on a disc. If I turn shuffle off and back on, it STILL frequently selects one of the tracks I’ve heard over and over. Annoying.

So, in an effort to help the future Prius owners who would actually like a shuffle function to work properly, I’m outlining The World’s Most Perfect CD Shuffle System Ever for you here. Today. For free.

If you ever build it, I’d love to know, so I can upgrade. I love to have a disc full of my favorite stuff, but I don’t always want it “in order” and I don’t only want to hear a few songs from the whole compilation.

The World’s Most Perfect CD Shuffle System Ever

  1. The player loads a disc.
  2. It scans the disc for the total number of tracks.
  3. It then randomly orders the total number of tracks and stores that sequence in memory. This will be the order in which tracks are played until all tracks have been played. No repeats.
  4. It goes to the first track from the sequence and starts playing it
  5. Once all tracks have been played, the disc is considered “played” and it goes onto the next disc just like any other disc
  6. Skipping back gets you the previous tracks you’ve heard and in the same sequence.

This would be ideal. You get just what you want – the ability to listen to a whole disc in a random order. Not just a random selection from parts of a whole disc. Now, you could always give the user additional options on the touch screen very easily so they can control the experience even more. Something like “Shuffle Exclusive” or “Shuffle Inclusive” but that would be bonus stuff.

I have hopes this suggested improvement for the betterment of all CD shuffle systems can make its way to the marketplace. At the very least, Toyota, can you make the CD shuffle not pick the same 8 songs all the time?